My relationship with my body| Perfect Imperfections, Weight, body shaming fitness, relationships, advice, etc.

Body confidence|Body shaming and relationships| Weight loss and confidence.

If you are wondering why I am doing this post, I am doing this for a plenty of reasons.  First, this is a blog and MY blog. So, I should primarily write about whatever I feel like. Second, You might be aware of my health concerns and how psychologically tolling it was. Third, I am genetically prone to obesity. So, it's a constant struggle. Fourth, there might be plenty of women like me who are be struggling hard.

You know how ill I have been last year. It resulted not only in huge weight gain, but also, depression because of which I have been eating without any restraints. At last, I got tired and decided to do something. The first thing was, I learnt to swim.
beauty blogger Kolkata
Even the puppet tiger scared me! Thanks to Pooja from www.dialifestyle.com for the photo.
Now, swimming did not exactly help me reduce weight. ( I heard it exactly does not unless you are an athlete thrashing in the pool for hours.) But, it was not a waste. I got into the good habit of working out. Not only I learnt to swim, even though it did not help me trim down, it took away the joint pain and made me stronger. Once the session was over, I stopped and started gaining weight.

I HAD to do something again so that I don't slide back. There's a nice park near by. So, I have just  started some power walking about thrice a week. Hope, I am able to maintain the same.( Update soon.)

Diet: I don't do bizarre diets. I am trying to eat at home with veggies ( as much as my tummy allows, because I cannot digest too much of fiber), chicken,fish, fruits and eggs. I am also regularly taking my green tea infusions.

In two weeks, I feel better and stronger. Shall update on those later.

My relationship with my body:

Here comes perhaps the most important part. As a kid, I was a little chubby. When I was about 8, my father's friend, who was a medical representative gave him some tonics which were supposedly good for health. I had been given that tonic and within a year guess what? I became actually 'fat' and flabby. Yes, it was one of those body building tonics which shouldn't be taken without doctor's advice. Since, fat in children, in our culture is supposed to be a symbol of 'health', my family was very happy until much much later they realized that things were not really good. By the way, all along, I used to do yoga, which never helped either.

Now comes another part -- Body shaming.

 If you are honest, you would remember, teens in high school, especially the urbans ones, can be really mean to each other. It was around this time, things started. Since people tend to be body conscious and being stick thin was supposed to be good. In school, I have been taunted, called names and what not. Not only that. I was body shamed even by very close family members.
But the funniest part is, I wasn't exactly 'fat' fat anymore since the days of those tonics were over.
I felt horrible to be bullied and body shamed. But yes, I was a little nerd as well. I enjoyed reading, had my own hobbies and had different perspectives. Even though I wanted to get fit, I knew crash diet couldn't have been the answer. Besides, I refuse to let people tear me down ( I still do. The harder you try to hurt, the more resilient I would get.) Those 'friends' whose real intention was to hurt me by body shaming, indeed got mad at that. I had been actually ostracized.

So, see, those who actually try body shaming has other intentions. It's not your body, but your soul which they target.

When I was about seventeen, I started watching my diet and walking... I would walk back from tutorials or try to eat a balanced diet and I started to lose weight rapidly. I got ugly stretch marks which has eventually lightened to almost invisibility.

Sorry guys. We don't always fit in the same frame.


Did the body shaming stop?What about relationships?

 Not really. I was in a relationship. But even my ex boyfriend would make fun of me because I wasn't stick thin like most of the other girls. I knew it wasn't doing good to my confidence. But, to be ashamed of myself is not exactly who I am. Eventually, in terms of relationship, things did not work out. Yes, I demand to be respected in a relationship.
Talking about relationships, I have been dating my fiance for the last seven years and it has been a long-distance one. It's not easy. But, when you have enough of love and respect and communication, things do fall into place.

My perfect imperfections:

I have snub nose. As a child, I have always been made fun of it by adults ( not sure if they can be called 'adults'). I have been called 'cheenky' which is racist. And 'potato nosed'... yes, by grown ups. It's strange that so called responsible people do not realize that they are actually trying to make a child conscious about her looks!
 But, one day, I noticed my grandmother and I share the same snub nose! I mean, our noses are just the same.
That was the happiest day I would say! I no longer felt unhappy. I feel I am connected to my grandmother in some distinct way and have received her gene. My snub nose feels like a legacy now! HOW COOL IS THAT? LOL.

My relationship with my body:

As I mentioned earlier, I am genetically prone to gaining weight. But that's who I am. I do not want to be stick thin either because again, that's just not me. But, well, I would like to be fit and active like I used to be. My snub nose connects me to my grandmother and I am happy to be have it. I feel proud to be just the way I am proud of her. People who love me find me beautiful and I am loved no matter in what shape and size I come. Besides, we live in our body. I would hopefully live a long life, bring in a new life in this world, grow old in this body. I cannot be unkind to it. I find not only my body, but each body unique and wonderful. Have you wondered how much of complex chemical reactions, complex engineering Nature has put in? Why be ashamed of it? Rather we should keep it as much happy as we can.

My advice to women constantly struggling with weight (thin or heavy) and teenagers:

 If you have been hating your body, stop doing that right away! Your weight is not the factor on which you should be judged. But, you should be judged based on the fact that you can be an amazing person who tries to be an even better human with each passing day.

But does that mean you should be 'unfit'?
No. Again, pamper your body. Keep it healthy. Do what needs to be done. Life has to offer more than just worries of being 'perfect'. Happiness can be everywhere. So, make the most of it.




P.S. I understand this is a long post which has taken away most of the sweetness. But, I still hope you are able to appreciate it.